Ducks On A Pond

Last night after I had come in from work, the girl and I sat and talked. I like when we do this it helps me to decompress from my day as well as get an update of her day. When she first came here I would ask what she did during her day? She’d go through her list and at the end I’d ask “no yoga?” To which she would pout and say she did what she could, she has a love hate relationship with yoga.

We talked about a conversation on the owners and property board about objectification. which lead to another subject, to which lead to another. To which leads me to post. “To which” might be my phrase of the day? :)The girl stated that the slave circle seems to think, rightfully or not so rightfully so, that masters are content with the maintenance of the dynamic, which to them seems like “costing.” She explained that it seemed masters have a goal and when they achieve said goal and are satisfied they go back to coasting in the relationship. While she was explaining this to me all I could think of was ducks on a pond. It seems to me rightfully or not so rightfully so- but I think rightfully so due to what I’ve heard most slaves say. That slave need to see movement. since they are always, moving. From the outside one can say that her service to me to which serves the dynamic is visible. That same one can say that from the outside my part of serving the dynamic is not visible. Like the duck on the pond, where people are looking at the duck and saying “oh look how the ducks are floating on the pond?” No one ever says “damn those ducks must be paddling their asses off under the water to move so gracefully.”

I’m not speaking for all masters, but the ones I know are always thinking, of how they want to and which direction they want their dynamic to move.


I know the girl also had done a lot of inner work, that which I don’t see, but manifest itself in ways that I can see, like when she speaks at MAst, or when I announced we were going to do a demo, or sit on a panel. She had changed a great deal from how she was when she first got here. But in my defense she did know before she got here that I like to teach, and even then I was thinking she would be a benefit to that end. Hell she’s got a point of view that I think is important for folks to hear. And she doesn’t  talk just to hear the sound of her voice.

So for those slaves sitting in the slave circle, here’s some insight into some things in the master’s circle.

How do we support out slave when they are out of work?

How can we let them know they are valued and are contributing even if they work out of the home?

How do we not take them for granted and show gratitude for them every day?

How do we provide security for them, with out seeming to chest beating while saying “me be master?”

How do we provide comfort when the world is in any way not so kind to our slaves?

How do we make sure they have the tools they need to grow?

How do we provide a place for them to grow, spiritually and mentally?

And if that’s not enough the all important question which is discussed at length in said circle where do we want our dynamic to be and look like in 5 years, 10 years or next year? And are we/what are we doing to move it in that direction?

Yep a heck of a lot of paddling under the water, but the duck looks so pretty don’t it?

The dynamic is like a dance, to which each person has to move a certain way as to not step on toes and falling down.


About Raven

To much to state here. I'm intrested in many things. The important thing you need to know is that at the age of 20 I decided to put something to rest. My families luggage. don't get me wrong they gave me a foundation for many things. But I had to build on the foundation and be true to myself. Hope you find your truth.

4 thoughts on “Ducks On A Pond

  1. sirqsmlb says:

    Thank you for this post. It is good to keep perspective, that what we see is simply OUR perspective. There is always another perspective and there is work being done by ALL.

    Thank you,

  2. Raven says:

    Thanks for the reply. And yep it is about perspective, it brings to my mind a little bush I bought back in Dec. Any kind of plant I brought home before always died. But this seems to be hanging in there, I think it’s because the girl cares for it by taking pieces of that are dying, and I make sure it gets water. We both are doing our part.

  3. sofia says:

    i know i’m late saying this, but i really appreciate this post. jade and i had been talking some, and this was helpful to me in understanding my Sir, who tends to manage me so subtly that i sometimes don’t realize the control is there and that a lot of thought and concern have gone into deciding what he does or doesn’t do. This gave me a better perspective and some real insight. Thank you.


  4. […] post ~ Ducks on a Pond ~ by Sir Raven had a strong impact on me.  Sir Raven is jade’s Master ~ youall know Jade. […]

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