i read a comment on another blog that absolutely stopped me in my tracks. He said, “slaves need physicality.”
It made me stop and think hard.
All of the angst i’ve ever felt trying to supress it, trying to hold it down, lusting after pain, that all-consuming thick need. Finally, finally, i forced it away and have become zen-like.
Ready to devour the pain whole.
And….finally….a reason to forgive my body for wanting, craving, needing.
It could be a natural urge?
i mean, of course it’s natural but damn. Yeah. Every slave i’ve ever known does need physicality. Some do it through pain, force, sex, restraints at night, tangible physical reminders.
Many of us go through a hell of a lot of grief when we don’t get the need for physicality met. i figure the sense of guilt, shame, it’s wasted. it serves no greater purpose. It certainly wasn’t adding anything to Sir Raven’s life for me to get angry with myself for something as natural for me as breathing.
i am the one who decided it was better to distance myself from the want of it. i certainly wasn’t asked to. What she said on the topic was that she did not want me to distance, did not want me to be numb.
i didn’t have a better way to deal. i didn’t have anything else i could do.
i’d like to understand what the difference is between a slave needing physicality and a Master needing it.
They seem to be better at compartmentalizing, or something to that effect. i’m just not sure why or what it means.
i wonder if they understand what is behind that need for slaves?
i wonder if it is universal for slaves. Even apart from outright pain, which i get not everyone needs, physicality can come in a million shades.
Though entirely anecdotal, it seems we do all crave this.
If it is a natural thing, then maybe it should be natural to ask, acceptable to have a need, as understandable as needing a drink of water.
Slaves need physicality is a value-free, judgement-free way of thinking about it. It resonates for me.