If anyone had asked me a couple of years ago about slavery, I would have responded first about responsibility, chores, and demeanor. And of course, those things matter. Service and how I give service matters around here.
What trumps those things?
Obedience to Sir Raven’s will.
Even when what that means is me having to work until past bedtime, and four more hours today, using both laptops. Her priorities matter to me and it shows at me pushing through this class, which I hate on many levels. It makes me feel inept and frustrated and small.
But I sat here and got this week’s work turned in. At least what was due is done. I have to study for the upcoming test but the bulk of the pressure is off for now.
If Sir Raven were trying to devise a way to make me miserable, this math class would certainly accomplish that. She isn’t quite that Sadistic. 🙂
Obedience to her will kept me working at it, even when I desperately wanted to stop. She isn’t the kind of Master to come home forcing or threatening or beating me into the task. Maybe because of that, she has to have a high degree of trust that when she tells me to get a task done, it will be done, even if it involves numbers and weird symbols.
Thankfully, tonight I won’t be stuck back in the bedroom frantically working til bedtime. It’s time for pizza and salad.
To everyone who sent a message while I was sounding the panic button, thank you. It is an awful feeling to be that kind of anxious and it helped to know I wasn’t alone in that. The websites were good too. I recommended one to the teacher who makes me smile because she calls herself Miss Marsha. She puts animated cartoons in the notes when students got things right. I had to ask what was bouncing around all over the page. Sweet right? Like the online version of stickers on our pages.
And teachers thought I was weird when I let kids call me Miss jade rather than my cumbersome Italian last night. 😀