For some reason I woke up at 2am with a raging hard-on. For the record I am a female bodied person. But in keeping with full disclosure and transparency and all I will admit something that I’m not sure I ever did here. Up until the age of 9 years old I thought I was a boy. I don’t want to get into the reality that came crashing down on me the summer before I turned 10, needless to say that waking up with a raging hard-on is not unusually for me. Al least up through my 30s.
So all of a sudden I’m a wake from a dream that I can only remember was an erotic yearning of some kind. I opened my eyes and looked over at the girl. She was sound asleep, she is known to talk in her sleep and what I thought I heard her say “was do you want some porn sauce?” I don’t usually respond to her but asked “what kind of sauce?” It sounded to me like porn sauce, so I lay awake thinking, what word ends with -orn-. We don’t look at porn, she is not fond of porn, so I thought this must be the cause of my erotic yearning. As I feel back to sleep, my last thought was “why yes I would like some porn sauce.” And this I’ve come full circle to thinking I was a boy. The only thing I could think of was maybe the girl wanted a facial. Because that’s the only way I could think of her getting porn sauce? If you get my meaning. I was still awake and got up to smoke a cig, and reply to a post listening to her sleep, until 3:30am thanking the Goddess that I had the day free from work today.
We woke up late, 9:30am and over coffee I asked her about it. She had no clue what porn sauce would be, and when I gave her my theory, she gave me one of her very reasoned replies, “well that’s one way of looking at it.
I may have to break out the Ouija board, where is Freud when you need him?