Sir Raven has lovely friends and a few have adopted me a little bit. One is moving and i am deeply sad by this. She isn’t just moving, she is deflecting and moving across the damn country.
i don’t trust people easily or well. i trust her implicitly. So, yeah. i’m happy for her but my inner child isn’t there, yet.
Anyhow, we got to have dinner with her and some other fantastic people on Saturday night. It was really a lot of fun, drinking and laughing. At one point, after we had eaten, i pulled the chopstick out of my hair and was treated to a lovely Lady playing with my hair. i forgot how much that relaxed me, my eyes were closed and everything. Unfortunately, i was holding the wooden chopstick in my hand and was jerked out of my happy place by Sir Raven, who stabbed me in the hand with it and told me to focus. Hurumph.
You know what’s funny to me about that? My reaction was to apologize to her and feel bad for having a moment that i wasn’t focused on her. Because, you know, having your hair played with is bliss. Um, not bigger bliss than having all of my devoted attention on Sir Raven. 😛
The next day, after more homework, we joined another M/s couple for Korean Bar-b-que. Words can’t describe this place but it was amazing. Miss Korea has small little rooms with dining tables and Asian sliding doors. You are effectively in your very own diningroom with a grill on the table. i got seated by THE BUTTON, which i didn’t know was there. When it was pointed out to me, i was downright gleeful. i was wondering if it was the eject button for the Master’s seats, a comment i may have made aloud. i’d like to blame the Saki, but it’s been a few weeks since i’ve gotten a beating and it’s starting to show on both of us, despite my best efforts. Oh, well, it will happen when it happens. 🙂 My sense of humor is generally a great thing but its more enjoyable when i can actually edit.
The other Master proffered his insight that i may well be heading for a beating after the eject button comment and pointed out it was the Master’s decision to put the blind little by the button and so it was really their fault.
THE BUTTON turned out to be a call button and when i pressed it, people in the hallway careened into each other. It was *fantastic!* My button-pressing privileges were denied at that point. Boo.
The meal was insanely good. So many little dishes, pretty colors, heavenly flavors. We were in there for almost four hours, eating and drinking and laughing. It was fabulous.
While the Master’s talked, i learned some very interesting things. Among them that Sir Raven would like to do a class called “Come to Daddy” (which i think should be renamed “Come to Bad Daddy”) and that she has plans for buying an eternity cuff for my ankle. Yeah. Remember how i wrote i was trying to ease myself into it? You know, after the whole PTSD from literally being kidnapped for months? Yep. Bad Daddy has decided i was willful to have done anything about that at all. i keep turning the idea around in my mind, of a cuff locked around my ankle that matches the one around my throat. It feels one part pride and one part fear.
i can count on one hand the number of times she has declared me willful. She pronounces willful likes a particularly dirty word, with a great disdain. The few times i have heard it, i ended the night with blood, snot, tears, and trying to crawl into the bedroom wall. And this was before the strap so all-in-all, i think she is treating me kindly by the ankle cuff idea. The end goal would be to associate everything with my Master, and i imagine it would do that very clearly, in a muscle memory kind of way. Ankle restraints seems to be my last trigger we have, and i am committed to it being gone.
For anyone considering an eternity collar, they do stand up to anything a Master could want. Mine has literally picked me up by my throat using the collar a few times. Roped me to the bed by it and while i was certainly trying to get away, i succeeding in only choking myself. Good times.
Sir Raven wined me and dined me so much that i’ll be damned if i had time to do much else besides homework, homework, homework.
Yesterday, i had a lot of cleaning and laundry and shopping to take care of. Today, i finalized plans for the trip so everything is taken care of. Our hotel room is reserved, the amtrak train booked, and i have a very slight idea of what i’m wearing for the classes. i’m slightly stressed by the business casual outfits i’m supposed to be pulling together. i don’t think i have enough for six days of looking like that. i don’t think i have six outfits that don’t show my cleavage because Sir Raven is a fan of the girls. 😛 Whatever. i have boobs, they are going to be DDD no matter what i try and conceal with a camisole. And this is yet another reason for the name change, because i’ve been informed that my birth name is fit for a stripper. Heh. It doesn’t exactly scream, “Hey, pick me to be your shrink!”
The closer we get, the more i feel my inner control freak wanting out, to fixate on stupid details like finding the right shade of lipstick. Heh. i bought a wine chilling keeper for SR because i figured she would appreciate having cold wine after the train ride. She said it was very gay of me, and all of her gay friends would approve. That’s priceless.
So is having access to THE BUTTON, trying in my i-am-the-most-awkward-person-alive way to make sure that someone leaving knows how much she will be missed, and knowing in advance about the cuff.
Speaking of which, Mr. I-don’t-do-collars-but-have-seen-the-light pointed out that she would kill anyone who removed the collar. Because, clearly, she has no feelings associated with me living with a hunk of steel locked around my throat that i can’t remove. Heh. It maybe shouldn’t have, since we were discussing premeditated murder and all, but it made me smile inside. She pointed out that for a person to remove my collar, they would have had to have premeditated removing it, so her response would be fitting.
i’m so glad we cleared that up.
Oh, so last night, i dreamed about the Marine. i confess i miss her. It’s kind of odd, now that i’m thinking about it, that no one mentions her. i wonder if i went MIA if everyone would politely never mention it. Sir Raven’s friends know the Marine, so it would stand to reason that someone would ask how she is or something. Nope. Sir Raven can be an intensely private person, and i understand that because i certainly am as well, other than writing here. Sir Raven mentioned her the other day, as we passed a suit store, that they had intended to get measured and buy from. i asked if this was still something SR would consider doing with her and she wasn’t sure. Maybe it would be nice for them. Time will tell.
Speaking of time, i have to eat something since it’s 2pm and i haven’t done that yet. i have more laundry to get done, dinner to prep, wine to buy, and always more homework. But before all of that, nap time, because the pain is spiking and it’s a rule.