Reflecting

This year, i got to help with Sir Raven’s Spiritual Birthday more than ever before. i felt very humbled to do these tasks because i believe that love is a verb, and it mattered deeply to me to be able to express to her, and her Orisha, how thankful i am that i have a family.

Sir Raven is the priest in our home and i care for her Elders, her Family, in the same ways i would if they were still alive on this plane. It is my honor to do so.

i am careful to ask exactly how she wants everything done and pay attention to the smallest details. In this dance, we flow easily, simply, and while i know that it turns her on to watch me absorbed completely in her will, we must wait to be able to have our own private expressions.

There are times that i take the pain as a spiritual act, though we could not plan such a thing out. It happens on it’s own, as the best magic always does. Our intention is intense focus on each other, every breathe and bead of sweat a prayer. The rest just happens.

i can see my improvements from last year to this. i am more confident in my service, calmer, more graceful. i know, because i can feel her eyes on me, quietly proud. That is how we are.

Owing to her Mastery, there is always something to improve, to tweak, to bend.
When i thank her for her efforts in telling me how to be better, i am thankful.
i think of the sculpture of Michaelangelo, and meditate on how i will be revealed best by watching the unneeded parts smoothed away.

We have had many new guests in our home, and last night in bed, i thank her for giving me a home and of so many things to be proud of. There is nothing i am more proud of in my life than being Her’s.

Today, i woke with a migraine. i put on my darker glasses, muddled my way through coffee and a long chat with Karida. i finally remembered to take my migraine pill and we crawled back into the big bed to snuggle and rest. i must have fallen asleep for a bit because she was gone when i woke. She had washed the french press and our bowls and cups. i appreciate her efforts.

After a second migraine pill, i feel i can face the day, and set to work at mopping the floors. i took down a large bag of recycling and shopped for the evening meal, tomorrows meals, and the wine. i had wanted to dust the house and do the laundry today as well, but i know Sir Raven’s priorities and they have become my own. A good wife would have done those other chores. A good slave, at least in this house, obeys her Master’s will.

i am fortunate that my Master cares enough about me to insist i rest and if i had taken the whole day to myself, she would have allowed it. We have had a busy few weeks and little down time to speak of. Even the days she told me to rest i managed to do errands. i really have enjoyed having friends in the house, especially her Godfather and people who are M/s couples.

It matters to me that people we are friends with can see how we live, see our home, and who we are. Even if i did run around flustered yesterday after a long day of errands to make a small buffet of snacks and drinks and ask Sir Raven to please get out from underneath my feet while i mopped the kitchen floor(!)…it was worth it to watch her sit back and enjoy her evening.

It’s funny, but if we were not M/s, it would matter a little less to me to.

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