Sir Raven didn’t forget about the diet, uh-lifestyle-change in place for me. She is a person who loves salty snacks, so i try and keep a variety in the house for her. Thankfully, i’m rarely tempted by chips, though i favor the same kettle kind she likes. When i said i wanted to “steal a chip” she said that that was over. That any of that snacking stuff was over. i’m a person who turns to carbs and sugar rather than the kind of snacking she likes, thank God.
i went food shopping yesterday and felt relieved to not be so tempted by the cookies and candy. i bought apples, oranges, bananas and salad. i am trying to eat during the day because i’ve shut my metabolism down by eating once a day, late in the evening. i need to take better care of myself and i’m glad she is interested in the process. That will keep me from mindlessly going from not eating to over indulging when i’m anxious or angry.
Her reason for getting involved has nothing to do with how i look but that i freaked out over my weight and was talking about it too much. i am so lucky that she thinks i’m beautiful just like i am, even though i forget that.
i want to continue to feel thankful for her interest and not get upset by not being able to shove my feeling away with food. To that end, i’m paying attention to being more mindful and keeping my energy small and quiet, the way she likes it.
Hopefully, the loud construction stuff will be done soon because it’s nearly impossible for me to get what i need to done without having a nap during the day. i read the same thing over and over, unable to comprehend it or put together ideas. i’m trying to be patient with myself on that and accept what the situation is. i am doing the best i can, even though that isn’t good enough right now.
The last two days have been a particular challenge on the fibro front. Still, the house is clean and dusted. i purchased the groceries yesterday, carried them home, and cooked a meal she enjoyed. i put on a clean dress and fixed my makeup. The harder i have to struggle to push through for my Master, the more pleased i feel with getting it done. i tried to send a list and it didn’t send. Sometimes my email is just weird. Even though sending a daily list isn’t a rule-yet-i know she likes receiving them and plan to do it daily. i feel that one way i can show gratitude for her dominance is to look for ways to be pleasing. So, i try out new recipes or have her foot soak all set up when she comes home or make lists.
On another note, we are looking for ideas for the podcasts, topics that we can all discuss. i wanted to do one on gratitude and it’s role in an M/s dynamic but was vetoed by the Masters. i think so often we focus on what is hard about M/s that it might be nice to focus on the good things that come from this kind of relationship. Or maybe it’s just me-i tend to think, write, and speak about gratitude often. i find it’s just as easy to look for reasons to express that as it is to spend that energy on what isn’t working in life.
My other idea for a topic was if O/p style relationships were a journey or a destination. In either case, how do you know you when you have “arrived”?
Does anyone have any other ideas on podcasts? Or ways to make a sweet tooth go away? 🙂