i’m feeling better. i got everything on my list done but one thing. i love my phone because its so easy to text now. i asked permission to not do laundry today because it was raining a lot. She said that was fine, which was kind of her. In many ways, she goes out of her way to be kind to me. She knows absolutely that i’d do it in any weather or any amount of pain if she ordered it.
i scrubbed out the frig. Every week, i take everything out of the frig and wash it down. i took all of the garbage and recycling down. i’m making a pot roast and have cleaned the rest of the house. All of this makes me feel better. Everywhere i look is clean and shiny. Even my playpen has neatly folded blankets.
The grocery store here has been transformed into a veritable paradise in comparison to before. Lots of organic produce, fruit, a whole seafood section, and vegetarian options galore. It takes me longer to shop because everything has shifted around. It also makes me a wee bit worried about white people coming and ruining every damned thing, as they are wont to do, either through willful entitlement or ignorant extravagance i sure hope not. i don’t want to be priced out of our apartment.
Sir Raven recently mentioned wanting to find a larger place. i know she would love to have an office and that we could use more room, especially now that we entertain regularly. It would also be nice to have dedicated spaces, like an area for me to work in, so i’m not in my playpen doing everything. We both do art and would love to have a dedicated space that could be organized for this purpose. i figure it will happen, somehow, if it is meant to be. i could clean a whole lot faster if we were spread out and i’d do damn near anything to have a dungeon room. i think it would improve matters dramatically.
That could be magical thinking on my part, i’m not sure.
In any event, i got myself grounded. i’m back to focusing on how to better please my Master, which is what i’m always thinking about when i’m not busy getting too into my own head. Where it is messy. And murky. And sometimes smelly from the rotting tapes that play, especially the ones with only the hatred in my mothers face captured hundreds of times at the sight of me.
i belong to Sir Raven, not anyone else.
Thank God and her Orisha..