Feeling Blessed

Not only did Sir Raven go out of her way to surprise me with the iphone, she spent the better part of two weeks trying to figure out what options existed for me.  i’ve had just a basic little flip phone, able to make calls and have texts read to me, but that was it.  Sir Raven mentioned the iphone ….gosh….almost three years ago, even though she dislikes apple products.  i was happy to make do, and not spend the extra money.

When i needed to do something, Sir Raven first tried to purchase a blackberry.  i would have loved it, actually, but the advertised accessibility features had never launched and could no longer be added or purchased.  It was a hot mess.

When i went to look myself, used to having to dig around to find out how to do very basic things while blind, i saw how many pages had already been read-by Sir Raven.  Dozens of pages.  She had already gone to bed and i was awake in too much pain to sleep.  So i figured i’d see if i could make some kind of headway into understanding blackberry services.  Sir Raven had already tried every avenue and i sat there in tears because she had spent so much time trying to help me.  There are moments in life where i feel so humble.  She could have chosen any woman to be her slave.  She chose me and has to work very hard sometimes because of my disabilities.  She never complains about the hard work involved.  i would not have even known how much time she spent looking had she not been using my laptop for the days of searching.

And then there is the fact that she shocked me with the brand new iphone.  Frankly, i’m glad i didn’t go with her and didn’t know she was going to do this when she left.  i would have been pleading for the cheapest version possible of the iphone.  Instead, what she purchased has way more in common with a computer than a phone.  There is so much to learn!  Sir Raven has invested hours in figuring out how to make it easier for me: making buttons and print large, teaching me how to turn on the voiceover so everything is spoken, sending each other texts from across the room for practice.

i keep getting teary because so far literally anything i can imagine can be done on this phone.  It makes me aware of how easy it will be for me to travel alone, how much more confidence i will have being able to interact with people and places  in the ways sighted people take for granted.

i think that i appreciate the time, effort, thought, and love she put into this purchase more than the actual financial cost.  Anyone in New York knows how to throw money at a problem (as Sir Raven reminds me, one can buy anything in New York with enough money).  But not everyone would take so much time and care to learn a whole new system to teach a blind girl who had never even touched anything with a flat screen before last week.

Oh, yes, and she bought a cover: Tiffany Blue.  😀

There are ways that she believes in me that are so amazing that it makes me believe in myself.  i never forget how lucky i am because my life before Sir Raven contained a lot of implied and direct messages about how i couldn’t do things that mattered to me.  i had to continue to believe in myself, when no one else did.  It’s a much easier road when your Master, lover, and best friend is the same person and never stops believing.

Thank you, Master.  Not just for Siri, but for the amazing gift of your time and effort, and for believing in my ability to learn anything you want me to learn.

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