This morning, i remember waking up enough to sleepily ask, “Master, is it time to wake up?” She said, “No” and i curled up tighter in the blanket and went back to my dream.
The morning opened slowly. i took my medicine and made my french press. i enjoy chatting with friends and doing chores. i needed the rest after yesterday, when Sir Raven let me out of the house to enjoy spending a leisurely afternoon of lunch and shopping with Karida. i hurried through the morning chores yesterday, unable to leave before the bed was made, the house swept and mopped, the bathroom and kitchen scrubbed. Then i ran out for groceries for the weekend because the forecast for today may mean that i wouldn’t be allowed outside.
Karida and i met up at Barclay’s Center and went off to enjoy a blissful lunch of honey chicken. i bought a meal for Sir Raven as well, which Karida thoughtfully carried around. We tried to go fondle the princess charms at Pandora but it was stuffy, hot, and crowded in there. We looked at the clothes in Uniqlio and wistfully wished the little girls section carried our sizes. Then we shopped at Target. i bought wood hangers that we have been needing, a headband, and a white scarf to better cover my head for spiritual ceremonies and times i’m instructed to cover my hair.
We found bunny ears and walked around the store together wearing them. Some Bigs stopped by at every section, to say how much they liked our ears. i forgot i was wearing mine and was out the check-out when Karida pulled them off of me. i was about to be a Bad Little Bunny and walk out with them on accidently. i can’t imagine that phone call home: “Daddy, i’m at Rikers because i forgot i was a bunny!” On the other hand, i’d probably be the one person there offering to not make their phone call home because i can only imagine the beating i’d get for being so stupid.
i have a deep-seated fear of the police though and i’d guess i’m far more afraid of the police than i am the strap.
Fortunately, Karida snapped some pics of us as bunnies and was smart enough to make sure we didn’t get into trouble.
i was late getting home and Sir Raven wasn’t too pleased. She was a lot happier when she got her honey chicken heated up. i had a pain spike right before we left Target and i struggled to get back to the train and walk home from the station after an hour ride. i thought about calling Sir Raven, and asking her to carry me. i figured she’d say, in jest, “Who is the Master here girl?”
Today, once i was able to move with the darned barometric pressure shift from hell, i quickly dressed and ran out for flowers. i changed the linen on the table by the altar to red and pink lace. i bought roses, in Shango’s colors and placed them in a red vase flanked by pink candles. Spring is a time of renewal and i pray for a constant renewal of our love and passion. Once Sir Raven is home, i’ll light the candles and serve champagne. i have water charging on the altar because i can’t put it outside in the snow.
i also feel really good about remembering the last time it snowed on the first day of Spring. It’s a really strong memory of my mother and something good. We went horseback riding-a surprise for me, because i love horses. We were in Virgina and we were riding when it started to snow. When we got back to our rented vacation apartment, i soaked in a deep tub and watched the snow fall all afternoon. i wanted to remember the day clearly because i was aware that i was loosing sight. It was really blissful. We lit a joint and drank wine and laughed together. She had been trying to micromanage her horse, who was busy taking a dump and ignoring her orders. Later in the vacation, she took me to P. Buckley Moss’s artist space, and it was one of the few times i have cried from joy. i had a beautiful print that i spent hours choosing, one of a horse with the sunset behind him, that i had always dreamed of having the artist sign. We did laugh a lot, my mother and i. i made her laugh so hard on that vacation she peed herself.
Sir Raven and i laugh together all of the time, and its one of the best things about us. Tonight, i am hoping to give her a relaxing evening and warmth inside our home, despite the snow coming down hard. i’d love to celebrate with heat and passion of our own…a girl can always hope her Master wants to use her. 🙂