The good, the bad, and the sexy

Good

1. Sir Raven and i were able to laugh at the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Summer of 2014.  i said if i ever ran away again, i’d be running up her tab at the Plaza.

2. The weather has finally become Spring-like.

3.  i’m beading between four and six hours per day to make the May 30th deadline.  In due time, the hand beading will be a part of gifts of dream catchers for the Elders in her Spiritual Family.

4.  i’ve discovered that a fucking machine exists.  i asked Santa for one.  i’ve been a good girl this year.  i may be asking for real diamond earrings or a pony next.  Who knows?

5.  My school finally (finally!) approved my appeal and i return to classes June 1.

6.  Sir Raven and i had a forthright discussion about how i will need a really short leash while i get back to school.  She agreed, even if that means the strap.  That is better than not making an A.

The bad:

1. The MRI results reveals that i have a lot of back damage and one of the herneated disks is pushing into my spinal cord and may require surgery.  We see the doctor on May 4th.  Sir Raven has already told me that i will be having the surgery if it is recommended.

2.i’m feeling somewhat emo about this.  The damage is the result of abuse and the car wreck that my brother caused deliberately and could have killed all of us.

3. i feel like i need to cry it out and wish she would do that with me.  And then i feel like a bitch for needing her because it seems to not be a priority. Therefore, it shouldn’t be on my priority list.

The sexy:

1.

http://www.mysexyfantasies.com/lovebotz-versa-fuk-sex-machine-with-universal-adapter-videos/

2.  Sir Raven spent a while beating me on Sunday.  It had been such a long time and keeps being such a long time that i don’t know when we will ever make it back to the blood, snot, and tears that we do so damn well.  My sense is we both need it.  Frankly, i’ve offered she just use the strap and fuck me, as that is the fastest path to get over the edge and she loves it.  We’ll see.  i’m becoming more interested in just getting the trapped and strangled emotions out.

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One thought on “The good, the bad, and the sexy

  1. morgianacontentlycaptured says:

    That machine is hysterical. And practical lol We had one years ago. The sale of it went to the school fund.

    Sir tends to be of the mindset that fucking and beating are animal needs, like playing with a puppy. We have all seen the neglected puppies at the pound… it is not pretty. He also believes a happy slave will never rebel or run.

    Everyone has different views on this though, and no one way is necessarily right or wrong. People come into relationships with their own experiences in life, and we have to learn to grow together or adjust and let it go for the other person. Sir and I have very open communication about what I need to survive, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

    This is just the way Sir and I live – I can go to him and beg for beating or fucking and he is more than willing, even when he’s tired, and often times me in the throws of passion is enough to rose his beast as well. He actually thinks it is sexy; he loves that I need him. He loves that I need only him. So he feeds it – because at times, we all need to feed.

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