Simple Definition of loyalty
: the quality or state of being loyal
: a loyal feeling : a feeling of strong support for someone or something.
Loyalty has an extraordinary place in my life. i have gone to enormous, risky, scary depths to demonstrate my loyalty to people in my life. i’m a champion secret keeper. i’ll give literally everything i have to people i am loyal to. i will go against my own self interests, go against my own moral code even, to demonstrate my loyalty.
While my loyalty and devotion are some of my better qualities, i will say this first. i’ve devoted five continuous years of study to the field of Psychology. If there is one thing you learn in the Master’s program, it’s exactly how fucked up you really are, and how fucked up your relationships have been.
Here is a non exhaustive life of ways i have demonstrated my loyalty for real, not as a kind of theoretical approach to loyalty.
- lied to police about being abused and injured
- refused medical treatment which was necessary
- gave people money who were not even speaking to me, because they needed it
- lied under oath
- lied to save someone’s life
- took total responsibility for following orders, even when following them put me in jeopardy
- got in between people who were fighting and/or drunk
- moved items that are too costly to mention
- knew deep secrets of the most unmentionable variety and kept them
- don’t let my feelings get in the way of expressing love or attempting to see things from another person’s perspective
- love, even when the other person does not deserve it
- acknowledge birthdays and special events, even when the other person does not deserve it
- let people tell me that wanted to leave their spouse and never let on
- gave my food, when i was hungry
- gave to people who cannot give back
- not kept for myself when i could give or share
- paid for others mistakes
- hugged closely, said, “I love you,” even when i was angry and hurt
- never made anyone wonder if i’d leave them without a home
- made most of people’s lives better for having known me
- took care of my grandmother during dementia and was there, holding her hand, when she died
- lied to people’s family members (for example: Has my brother’s wife stopped being such a bitch we don’t want to be around her? Me: Oh, no. You know, people change, maybe you could give her another chance.)
- don’t take people or things for granted or waste any chance to show love, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, sorrow when my actions hurt others. i might say, ‘I love you,” too often for some people , but i don’t believe in such a thing. Even when expressing the greatest hurt, i will tell people i love them.
Meanwhile, most people in my life can not honestly say that they have even done a part of this list. This list, which is hardly exhaustive, is why i don’t allow anyone to question my loyalty. Ever. There is no one who has ever been in my life who could not say that i have not done many things on this list -directly for them or their benefit.
Some of the things on this list are pretty sad, shouldn’t have to be there, but i don’t feel i was wrong for making the choices i made to be loyal over anything else.
Some people talk about it.
Some people live it.