Sir Raven had an early morning meeting, but the whole rest of the day off. It’s been awhile since she has been home on a Monday, and she worked on her story for her writers workshop while i got my Monday chores and daily chores done. By the end of the day, walls were washed, everything dusted, deep cleaned, and the energy clean too. Sir Raven complemented me on how i take care of the house, which made my day. i made the simple meal she requested, grilled turkey and cheese sandwiches for her, and hot ham and cheese for me. i genuinely love having her home and knowing that the only thing she has to do is go to the bathroom all day. i like having everything all fresh for her week. She was tired and went to bed around 8:30. i’m still up at 11, waiting to be able to sleep. See how red my chest is in the pic i took a few minutes ago? Fever. On the plus side, i also got another mandala finished tonight. It seems we both relax with me at her feet, coloring. While i’m waiting for my meds to do something, i’m watching The Girlfriend Experience on demand. So far, it’s pretty captivating. i find the girl rather relatable. i enjoy being in control sexually myself right until i have zero control (what i can’t handle is anything in the middle). Sex is power. Money is power. i see nothing whatsoever wrong with a person making that trade, provided they are doing so from an empowered place.
In other news, i kind of fell off the personal mandate to not be eating my feelings today. Maybe. i had asked for some much needed play time, explaining that i have been having some low level anxiety feelings without any cause i can determine. Sir Raven listened to my request, but said she was too tired. i smiled, went to go get her more wine and sandwich meat, and picked up some ice cream for me. Just a small container. But it’s something i need to keep an eye on. For a few days, i have noticed the anxious feelings during meditations and in general, but can’t place what is going on. Everyone deserves a treat at times, even me, but i need to be clear if i’m doing that or shoving food at anxiety.