i am one tired girl. Yesterday was just horrendously painful all day long. It was a comfort having Sir Raven home, even if the reason had nothing to do with me. She wasn’t feeling too well and i tried to get her to stay home today to rest, but she went into work anyhow.
Along with all of my other chores, which takes hours, i needed to get two large loads of laundry hauled out and washed. There is a little second hand store near us selling a tiny washing machine. i’ve had one before, it hooks right up to your kitchen faucet. Sometimes, you are aware that you are in a power exchange when you can’t have something that you really, really want. Like a washing machine and dryer in our house. Or a puppy.
While i was folding laundry, i got a text. At first i thought maybe i had forgotten to text her that i was leaving to do her bidding. She was texting to tell me that with the sudden heat to not go to Fordham Road but to head home after i was finished. i had a set of sheets, jeans, and another load of darks folded up when she called me to say she was on her way home. i carefully piled it all back into my laundry bag and waited for the next bus in the only shade i could find. i tried to get off at our stop but so many people crowded on that i literally could not make it out the door. The door was barricaded by passengers, the whole area out was blocked off.
The bus made it’s way down to Fordham-where i had just acknowledged knowing she said to not go. Since i could not use my metro card again for fifteen minutes anyhow, i paid my bill at Best Buy and picked up my medicine. i thought about getting a starbucks but since i was hauling fifty pounds of laundry with me, and had already not obeyed, i decided against that. Waiting for the next bus was an exercise in patience. Finally, i realized that my errands had taken an hour and texted where i was. She did not text back and my tummy started doing cartwheels. It wouldn’t be the first time i got the strap and was totally shocked. i knew she would be home by now, saw that i was where i wasn’t supposed to be, and i couldn’t explain what happened over text. Nervous tummy. It’s another moment when you know you are a slave in life. Heh.
Fortunately for me, she had her cell on vibrate and missed the text. And she let me breathlessly explain myself. i got everything hung up neatly and put away before making myself a cup of coffee, taking meds, and heading back out. She wanted tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner. So, i got that, plus more orange juice and a little microwaveable soup and a fruit cup for her lunch tomorrow. i found some all natural frozen popsicle fruit bars, which she said are “too sweet,” but ate anyhow. i medicated her, keep checking to make sure she is resting okay and has juice nearby. Yesterday, i was supposed to be taking a nap, but she kept popping up out of nowhere catching me up and saying, “This doesn’t look like napping.” Clearly, me putting away laundry did not look like taking a nap. Nor did it look like a nap when i was wiping down her desk. Or getting up for socks, another drink, or to see what she was doing. i finally settled down on my playpen instead, where she could watch me from her chair and slept. Yesterday, the pain was outrageous all day long. i took pain pills, muscle relaxers, smoked-everything-and nothing did more than slightly take the edge off the pain. Last night was rough too, for both of us. i couldn’t sleep again, so i sat up watching tv in the living room for hours. When i finally went to bed, she grabbed my hand in her sleep. “Good girl,” she said, and went back to sleep. i wonder what i was doing in her dreams.