tired girl

i am one tired girl.  Yesterday was just horrendously painful all day long.  It was a comfort having Sir Raven home, even if the reason had nothing to do with me.  She wasn’t feeling too well and i tried to get her to stay home today to rest, but she went into work anyhow.

Along with all of my other chores,  which takes hours, i needed to get two large loads of laundry hauled out and washed.  There is a little second hand store near us selling a tiny washing machine.  i’ve had one before, it hooks right up to your kitchen faucet.  Sometimes, you are aware that you are in a power exchange when you can’t have something that you really, really want.  Like a washing machine and dryer in our house.  Or a puppy.

While i was folding laundry, i got a text.  At first i thought maybe i had forgotten to text her that i was leaving to do her bidding.  She was texting to tell me that with the sudden heat to not go to Fordham Road but to head home after i was finished.  i had a set of sheets, jeans, and another load of darks folded up when she called me to say she was on her way home.  i carefully piled it all back into my laundry bag and waited for the next bus in the only shade i could find.  i tried to get off at our stop but so many people crowded on that i literally could not make it out the door.  The door was barricaded by passengers, the whole area out was blocked off.

The bus made it’s way down to Fordham-where i had just acknowledged knowing she said to not go.  Since i could not use my metro card again for fifteen minutes anyhow, i paid my bill at Best Buy and picked up my medicine.  i thought about getting a starbucks but since i was hauling fifty pounds of laundry with me, and had already not obeyed, i decided against that.  Waiting for the next bus was an exercise in patience.  Finally, i realized that my errands had taken an hour and texted where i was.  She did not text back and my tummy started doing cartwheels.  It wouldn’t be the first time i got the strap and was totally shocked.  i knew she would be home by now, saw that i was where i wasn’t supposed to be, and i couldn’t explain what happened over text.  Nervous tummy.  It’s another moment when you know you are a slave in life.  Heh.


Fortunately for me, she had her cell on vibrate and missed the text.  And she let me breathlessly explain myself.  i got everything hung up neatly and put away before making myself a cup of coffee, taking meds, and heading back out.  She wanted tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner.  So, i got that, plus more orange juice and a little microwaveable soup  and a fruit cup for her lunch tomorrow.  i found some all natural frozen popsicle fruit bars, which she said are “too sweet,” but ate anyhow.  i medicated her, keep checking to make sure she is resting okay and has juice nearby.  Yesterday, i was supposed to be taking a nap, but she kept popping up out of nowhere catching me up and saying, “This doesn’t look like napping.”  Clearly, me putting away laundry did not look like taking a nap.  Nor did it look like a nap when i was wiping down her desk.  Or getting up for socks, another drink, or to see what she was doing.  i finally settled down on my playpen instead, where she could watch me from her chair and slept.  Yesterday, the pain was outrageous all day long.  i took pain pills, muscle relaxers, smoked-everything-and nothing did more than slightly IMG_0071.JPGIMG_1531IMG_0074take the edge off the pain.  Last night was rough too, for both of us.  i couldn’t sleep again, so i sat up watching tv in the living room for hours.  When i finally went to bed, she grabbed my hand in her sleep.  “Good girl,” she said, and went back to sleep.  i wonder what i was doing in her dreams.


2 thoughts on “tired girl

  1. butchcountry67 says:

    sheesh you do lots more in a day than I do , and you’re braver too, when I am in the city I don’t use transit, I have a bad fear of being stuck on busses and not knowing where to go , if I can’t drive there myself I will go to umm uncle Doom’s and get her to take me, or if she can’t … swallow my pride and get that girly tomboy to take me ( absolute last resort ) …. or simply not go , I’d rather catch hell than take a bus lol

  2. jadescastle says:

    i prefer the subway to buses, by far, even if they are both packed. Somehow it’s worse to be packed in a bus for me. i don’t even write out half of what i do in a day. lol i’m glad you have family who will step in and help out. ❤

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