i’ve started putting things together that need to go with us. i got the frig cleaned out, and need to make a second trip down of the recycling, when i can. Dinner is leftover turkey meatloaf, warm and waiting in the crock pot.
The berry pie looks yummy and i made sure she has ice cream in the freezer.
i also watched a documentary on poverty on netflix, and am now listening to another documentary with a brilliant story teller (all verified by producers) on death row. i’m exhausted but pulled through my day. i did lay down and rest, even though i can’t sleep and needed to. The documentaries are my favorite part of netflix. Yes, i am a Nerd. 🙂
i just fixed my make-up and hair, which has baby girl curls trying to escape everywhere. i hate that.
i’m excited because i’m gonna ask SR to help me make GLOW IN THE DARK BUBBLES! Yes! i know it’s awesome. You open up the glow sticks and pour it into bubbles, so while the gentlemen are all busy smoking cigars outside, i can blow bubbles. Yay.
i am trying to be calm and meditate, but i got some bad news today. i need to talk to Sir Raven first, but i am needing to purge this frustration and need some attention from her to do that. Just in case, i just reshaved everything, washed again of course. i’ve been dealing with this stress, a major stressor, for months-and i simply have reached my breaking point where i need her.
There is also something else i need to talk to her about, because i’m going to ask her to do something simply because it will make me feel good and will help me feel calm, the way she likes me.
And i’m nervous-about asking for either thing that i need. i don’t want to hear “no” one more time and don’t want to have her touch me for the first time in a year and a half in a room full of strangers, in an unknown place, in public. i need a moment of private time, first. Not to mention, one of the items she wants to bring has neither been used nor cleaned in so long the leather no longer feels supple. i can focus on her-no matter what-and enjoy playing in public a great deal. i’d really like to just feel us reconnect first.