Slavery is…

Slavery is sometimes easy, like when the shame tape starts rolling, and i can shut that bitch in my head up immediately.   The line that starts the shame tape rolling is, “A good slave would…” and i stop it-right there-!

A good slave would obey.

Almost anything can be answered with that.  The only situations i can think of that not obeying would be what a good slave would do is if the Master is being protected by not obeying.

Slavery is easy when i know her so well, i can easily pick out gifts and times when she needs a little something special

when we play together, goof off, watch the same silly movies, know what each other needs.  She has gotten better at enjoying the moment, without rushing it or letting grump ruin a great memory.  i have gotten better at making my energy small, and not being a constant ball of happy energy.  We both are sending each other beautiful pictures of our day again, texting during the day, and using wunderlist.  It makes her a wee bit disgruntled that she doesn’t have time to look at wunderlist during the day because she doesn’t carry her cell around, but it seems like she really likes knowing what has been done any time she wants to sign in.  i think it has made us closer, helped with communication.  She does love a list.  ❤

Slavery is sometimes hard-

like when you are exhausted, but keep going, keep moving, and get the jobs done.

like when you have to wait to pack, and make a list while she is talking, because obedience trumps being proactive,

and when i visit two stores to find the one brand and scent of deoderent on me that is Master-approved, or stand on two lines in one store to save money, or  remember to text coming and going.

It’s hard when you have to be mute, and its hard when you have to have a real and difficult conversation with your Master.  Still, we are happiest when we are living in a way that is consistent with our values and who we are at the core.  i know i am. ❤  That is a whole lot more than most people control in their lives, and that is one of the ironies in M/s.  You crave control, and end up having to control yourself to do a million things another way, and be cheerfully obedient all of the time.  i try to always be pretty for her, and i wish i was a prettier girl for her.  i smell nice, wear pretty sundresses, sleep wearing lipstick, keep a clean house and hot meals served when she wants them.  Every day, i know i gave everything i had to her, for her pleasure.  Even when it isn’t good enough, i know i did my best.  There is a huge amount of satisfaction in feeling that each day.

Today, i’m thankful that we continue to grow, and that i know how to offer support when she is stressed (making the list from what she said to pack rather than just packing), knowing i will be micromanaged suddenly due to her stress.  It’s a wonder to me that she doesn’t have me on a collar and leash in public places when she can.  She would love to have one of those kid leashes on me at times!  i’m happy i know what comfort items that my Master will appreciate having.  i’m also happy because she recently mentioned wanting to get me a leather vest, though i don’t think it will happen any time soon.  i have one on my wishlist to show her that i really love, and its 65 dollars, a fair price.  Also, eternitycollars came out with a fully steel locking padlock heart that goes in where the screw would normally go in the collar or cuffs.  She said i will have it one day.  In the meantime, we have vendors to explore.  When Sir Raven told me i could purchase the collar at BL, i said i’d rather wait to find a collar together for special occasions where i can wear a leather collar.  i’d love cuffs, to work on a subtle cue to calm my energy in a way that puts her in direct control of communicating needing this and i think it might work well for us to have some kind of nightly bondage, something that isn’t locked, because Master may kill me if i wake her up to pee so she can unlock me.  Also, we both got up at 6:30 yesterday morning.  She went to bed exhausted at 8.  i was up until nearly 1am.  i woke up late this morning, about 7:30-right before she had to leave.

So far today, all chores are done.  The botanical gardens had basil plants, shallots, and a new mixed berry pie for Sir Raven.  i picked up hersheys kisses, because Masters drop too when they play, and its a good way to get their sugar back up quickly.  So, i always pack them for parties.  i got her some little snacks for the trip.  i picked up meds that we both needed at Walgreens.  That took two hours because a bus on that route broke down and it was too hot to walk home (per Sir Raven).  i need to run back out, later, but i can’t move an inch right now.  i had to turn the a/c back on because it is HOT, humid, sticky, and sweaty.  One shower a day is not enough in the summer time in New York.  i still walked two miles so far today.

i’m dealing with the pain, am thankful for meds, and am going to try to obey and nap today because that has gone out the window for awhile lately.  Weeks really.  Sir Raven has warned me a few times already.  i’m trying, really. Also, she noted that i haven’t colored in the last two weeks and expects me to start sitting at her feet and coloring again.  Its a pleasant time for both of us.

i’d show you her keychain, but she is using it.  Maybe i will remember tonight.

IMG_0137

IMG_0135

Ready for the storms that never came yesterday in rain boots.

IMG_0134IMG_0136IMG_0136.JPG

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s