We survived the move. i feel like SR and i should have matching tee shirts that say so. Or a bottle of champagne.
Weeks were spent with her rising early, going through hordes of stuff, editing, and then rushing out to work. Then i would dutifully carry bags of donations down to part of the solution and pack. i managed to pack the way i was told to, which was radically different from what i have ever done. What i mean by this is i was generally the only person who packed for a family of five, two of whom were hoarders. So i would pack, smoke a lot of pot, drink several pots of coffee a day, and color code everything.
Indeed, not only i without pot for the first move ever, i was also without pain meds for at least half of it. It was hellish at times, but my mantra was, “these are all problems I am lucky to have.” That helped me keep perspective in the box filled house, while i was simultaneously in the most stressful part of my classes.
Sir Raven and i managed to communicate well with each other, overall. We finally made arrangements to see apartments, saw four in one day, and the last one was what Sir Raven chose without any conversation with me. It was perfect for us.
By the time the movers showed up, we had pushed through boxing everything left. The only part i hate in moving is when you are down to the last 5 percent of boxing stuff, where you are basically throwing shit into boxes and are too exhausted to care anymore. Sir Raven didn’t falter in her ability to make quick decisions, explain what she wanted, and help tremendously. She took the lead, showing me that our M/s is very much intact and thriving.
The movers were professional, after a bit of a snag that SR managed to work out seamlessly. We managed to fill an entire truck, even though we got rid of the narnia cabinet and her loveseat. Then we worked like maniacs, from the time we woke until we were ready to drop to get everything set up, with the few days she took off from work.
SR insisted the kitchen was clean, and could not seem to process what i was telling her, that there were dead roaches in the kitchen. So i basically had to unpack the kitchen twice. I got everything put up, while i washed everything down in the cabinets, and then had to wash most of our dishes and pans to put them up.
By the time she went back to work, we had almost everything done. i thought we were down to one box, and became determined i would surprise her when she came home by having everything done. Five hours later, i emerged, triumphant. She was really pleased. That night in bed, i remarked that our Ms was in a far stronger place than i had realized. We were able to push through as a team, under extremely stressful conditions on both of us. No one should mix working, moving, grad school, and disabilities at the same time. SR injured her thumb, so we were both disabled, and had to try to work around it.
She chose a perfect place that already feels like a home. It’s bright and airy, on the top floor, so we get to see the sky and buildings around us, and we have an elevator. There is a small laundry mat in the basement, and a large one just around the corner. The kitchen is the largest and finest i have ever had, and came with a brand new stove and frig. i have never gotten to decorate a kitchen by myself or set one up with my own ideas, so it was a lot of decisions i wasn’t used to. i decided to do a Cinderella kitchen, something i picked on my own, and without just doing what i knew someone else would want. When it is done, i will take pictures.
Sir Raven has helped so much with the nesting. She chose baskets, dealt with ways to organize, took me to TJ Max and bought everything i saw, plus she gave me a sixty dollar gift card for TJ Max, so i could go back for anything else i need or want. She has put together all of the ikea furniture, all of the bookcases, made space for me to have an extra drawer in the dresser and in bins, hung art, and has been totally involved in lovely ways. It seems she has genuinely turned a new leaf, by being present, being aware, and helping so much. In response to my babygirl energy, she has been far warmer, even telling me she loves me from work yesterday. i know she loves me, but it feels good to hear. She said i was a real trooper in all of this. And in an exhausted heap one night, she asked me a question, and then said, “baby, love of my life, please just tell me what you need the bins for.” Heh. i told her that every moment of exhaustion was worth it to bring her to her knees in exhaustion so her true feelings came out. 🙂 i never thought i was the love of her life, which was my immediate reply, but she just brushed it off and told me to just hold it in my heart and enjoy it. ❤
We had a lovely Mother’s Day weekend together. i made waffles, got roses for the house Altars, her Ancestors, and then we went to the Botanical Gardens for our first trip this year. It was so nice. She fried fish when we got home, and then surprised me with a light and sexy play session.
It seems we both needed a fresh start.
My stress level has gone down considerably, the light and brightness helps, and that when i clean it is obvious that i did it helps. So does not having a constant exaggerated startle reflex going from seeing mice or evidence daily. It also helps that everything is less cluttered, we have much more space, and it validated that we are very much in this together.
i’m really happy. She is really happy.
Oh-and i made an A in that class, by the narrowest of margins, but still. My GPA is up to 3.7, which is very decent.