Nora asked me what a typical day was like for me. We like questions around here, so here is the answer.
i wake up and serve french press. Sometimes, i wake up too late to serve Sir Raven’s coffee. i can wake up at 7:30 in the morning and find she has already left. When that happens, she minds far less than i do. Because my morning is just incomplete without her applause (for the coffee, not seeing me). i serve in total silence in the morning, until she speaks to me. She might ask how i slept or am feeling, and i answer quietly and quickly. She likes quiet and coffee.
i take meds, and on a good day that means i can start chores in about an hour. i use an app called wunderlist, which lists my chores and i just check them off as i go, so SR can see what i’m doing in real time, if she is so inclined.
Make Masters bed, put away clean dishes, clean kitchen, sweep and mop house, clean bathroom, tidy up, sort recycling, bring down recycling and garbage, check email for school, meditate.
Run errands (dry cleaning, buy wine, etc), grocery shop, sort/pretreat laundry, prep dinner, nap.
finish cooking, serve dinner, clean up kitchen, pack her lunch, set up french press.
change sheets, dust (twice a week), wash walls, laundry (twice a week), clean out frig, wash cabinets.
Get my hair done, mani/pedi.
If i wake up and feel really bad, i’m lucky in that i’m allowed to complete the chores in little bits and do homework as i can. i’m also allowed to do things that help me relax and not focus on the pain like read, color, and play my save the pets game on fb. However, in general, all of the above is done at least an hour before SR gets home.
She generally calls me or texts me in the afternoon, to check in, see how my day is going. That is my chance to ask if i need to put off a chore, or see if plans have changed in some way, or let her know i’m really having an exceptionally bad pain day. It is also my chance to tell her i miss her already. ❤
If i need to go anywhere besides for groceries, i ask her the night before. If where i am going requires that i can on a bus or train, i text when i am on the train and when i arrive. Once a month i have a pain management appointment and i try really hard to go see Karida once a month. Sir Raven generally lets me go out once a month, to go have lunch out.
On Wednesdays, i do everything on the list, walk a mile to the farmers market in the Botanical Gardens, and buy her pie and fresh veggies.
Along with all of the other lists, i am a Grad student, working at my Masters Degree in Clinical Mental Health. I’m a quarter based student, so all of my classes are 12 weeks long. One is full time. I take two. All of my work is online, and quite a bit is self-taught. There is a huge amount of reading, writing, researching. The hard part of keeping up for me is that it is much harder to write cohesive, clinical, apa papers when i’m in pain than it is to do anything else. Sir Raven expects all A’s, but will allow B’s. i send her an email of all of my grades, as they are available. If i’m turning in things late or are in danger of that, i have to tell her. i don’t really know why per se, but she wants to know.
An hour before she gets home, i finish up any chores not done, straighten up, fix my hair and make up, change into a clean dress if needed (slavery is sweaty, friends), light candles in the house, and am ready to serve. We call this “get pretty for Daddy time.”
When Sir Raven gets home, i rise and take her bag, hug and kiss her. As soon as i hear the door, i’m up, delightedly calling out, “Is that my handsome Master?” i get her settled in her chair with her slippers usually near by, serve chilled white wine, and tell her what is for dinner and ask how soon she wants to eat. Then, i am deliberately quiet, so she has time to wind down from her day. She watches tv, plays on her computer, watches youtube, or reads. i finish dinner, keep the wine and ice water or iced hibiscus tea flowing. i serve her meal, take her plate, clean the kitchen, and am around but generally quietly occupy myself on my playpen. If we are watching something together, and chatting and relaxing, she is on her chair and i’m across the room in my “playpen” (a leather loveseat that she calls my playpen).
She always compliments dinner, which makes the time i spend on it worth every second.
When i can’t think to do homework anymore, and the evening chores are done, i ask if i can change into pajamas. She always says yes. If she takes her evening shower, i offer to wash her back. If i take a second shower, i ask if she needs anything first.
When she goes to bed, i clean up and glasses or whatever, bring her ice water if she asks. i am usually up later than she is, trying to fit in study time. i make sure lights are off, doors locked, french press is set up, and so on. When i go to bed, i usually watch netflix on my laptop while she snores away.
On her days off, i try and get everything done as unobtrusively as possible. When she goes to nap in bed, i busy myself doing everything else in the house. When she comes out to be in her chair and chill, i work on the bedroom. We try to go to the Botanical gardens together a few times a month, which is always really nice. We tend to have some kind of function a few times a month (perhaps a podcast, a leather bar night, a meeting to attend, and our huge grocery trip). Lately, we have been having some SM a few times a month, and that has literally been everything for me. It is the one thing that i get back that recharges me on a emotional level.
As Karida pointed out, lots of people do what i do, not just slaves. i can’t disagree with her, however, i think a difference is my intent and the degree of control SR has over everything.
For example, the order of how cleaning is done, how many cleaning supplies i’m allowed to have, if she wants a different dinner than what i have prepared, if i got out of the house at all, and many more details are all things she controls. It’s not how i would do things left to my own devices. For one thing, i really love having lots and lots of cleaning supplies. For another, i like to clean by job and not by room (wash the walls in the whole house, dust whole house, whatever). She wants the room done completely before i move on to another room. The order of how i sweep is determined by her. The amount of attention i pay to being aware of her is different, in that a part of me is always listening out for her to ask for another drink or snack or whatever. Or i’m always noticing if its been a few hours since i’ve offered. Our relationship is such that i’m a part of her to be used, like her hands. And i’m a reflection of her, so i have to be very mindful and aware always, because i’m expected to have a constant pleasant demeanor. i am always thinking of ways to bring her comfort, joy, treats. i thank her every day for something. It is very clear in everything that she is my focus, everything is about her. Very little of the focus is on me, in a lot of ways. Sir Raven says that my companionship is an important service to her.